IT'S OFFICIAL, I'M A PERV.

Fantasy X.

Ding dong.

This guy tells me he is from Colorado, so being my stereotyping self, I ask,

�Oh, do you like outdoor activities?�

�Of course. But what are you into?� he replies. So I reel off a few things: oral sex, anal sex, group sex, waiting for a response and a clue as to what he wants to talk about. Oh, he�s interested in oral sex and we start talking about it. Which, as it does in the non-phone world too, leads to sex.

He says he likes to get really nasty. After 7 months of phone sex, I�ve noticed that my callers that use the word �nasty� are usually looking for some kind of excrement involved in our �sex.�

�Oh really? Do you like watersports?� I ask him. (Watersports = peeing on each other during sex.) But I want to be sure this is what he wants to talk about.

�Yeah, I do.�

�Okay, baby. I�m gonna let go all over you.�

�Let go? What does that mean?� he asks and I think he is being coy, trying to make me say �piss�. So, without hesitation I say,

�I�m gonna piss all over you.�

�What?!?! You are going to piss on me? Don�t do that!�

Confused, I say, �But I asked you if you like watersports.�

�Oh, no! I thought you meant waterskiing and stuff!� I should have known, stupid granola from Colorado. �That�s out of my league, kinda gross, you know? Do you really piss on people?�

�Oh, only if they want me to, baby.�

Amazingly, we got back to the subject at hand after a couple of giggles about the miscommunication we had.

Posted by ::: 2004:10:04:13:26