Okay, it's been just over a year that I've been a phone actress and it is really starting to wear on me. Last night, I was just about ready to log off and quit for forever, mentally running through other possible jobs I could do, when the phone rang and this caller, Boo, saved me from phone acting retirement.

This guy tells me all sorts of crazy stories about him peeping in windows and jacking off watching the occupants. First off, there is this woman two doors down from him that loves to watch 'cum shot' pornos and has full length sliding glass doors and she walks around either naked or in a tiny nighty and masturbates with a vibrator in her lazy boy. Boo loves to watch her from her hedges outside.

Really? You never got caught, Boo?

One time he almost did get caught! He was watching this very sexy woman and all he wears is a black mask, a cock ring, and 7 or 8 ball rings. He was so excited he started to squirt a little bit, and he squirts so far, like 10-15 feet, that he actually squirt a little cum right onto her glass doors!! She was pleasuring herself with her vibrator, but decided to go outside to investigate. She walked right past him hiding in the bush. We decided it would be funny if he had jumped out and said, "Boo!" but embarrassing in the long run. It was very exciting to him when I suggested that she went outside for her morning cup of coffee and stepped in the big pile of cum he left for her on her patio.

This woman also walks around the neighborhood daily for exercise wearing shorts so short her ass hangs out the bottom and a tiny tight top. Just the other day, Boo was hanging out in his garage with the door open. He got a big piece of cardboard and wrote "Garage Sale" on it. This woman yelled up to Boo, who was standing naked behind the sign, and asked if he was having a sale. He told her he wasn't set up yet but soon there would be one. When she asked what kinds of things he would be selling he told her he'd be selling old pornos, magazines, and cock rings. While chatting he was standing behind the sign jerking off.

Didn't she see you, Boo?

Oh, she must have. The sign only went up to his waist and she could see his arm hanging down and moving up and down. She just chuckled and went on her way.

Goodness gracious, Boo. If I had been in that situation, I would have been even more freaked out than the time I ended up at a rummage sale inside the house of a one-armed man and his parrot.

All in all it was a great call that lasted 35 minutes. All I had to do was egg him on to tell me more and more stories and it kept me employed as a phone actress for at least one more night.